09 April 2014

Sylas Says...

Pin It Back when I was blogging as much as I'd like to start blogging again, I couldn't wait for Sylas to start talking so that I could start a series called "Sylas Says..." It's something I saw on another blog, so I can't take credit for the idea, but what a wonderful idea! Not only do kids say the darndest things, but what a great way to be able to remember them! I am notorious for saying "Oh, I'll never forget that..." and then a couple days later I already can't recall the story the exact way it happened. I want to be able to share with Sylas some of the funny things he says when he is older, so here's to a few laughs and many memories: My first "Sylas Says..." post (even though I am WAY behind and Sy has been saying funny things for quite some time!)

Sylas Says...

A few nights before Christmas, Dan and I planned a date night. A real, go-all-out date night. The plan was for Sylas to spend the night at Dan's parents house. He has had spend the night parties with them before, so no big deal, right?! Wrong! 

A few minutes before bed time, they called and said he had been crying and screaming for almost an hour-asking for Daddy and Mommy. We were at the Melting Pot, which is a restaurant that cannot be rushed. Everyone agreed that we should at least finish our date and see how the night went from there. 

About an hour later, they called and said that Sylas managed to climb out of his pack-n-play, get him self dressed, come downstairs and while trying to go outside says....

"I'll wait. I'll wait. I-a go ou-side and wait for my Daddy." ("I'll wait. I'll wait. I'm gonna go outside and wait for my Daddy.")

Needless to say, he came home and slept in his own bed that night, and that was the end of date night. 












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03 March 2014

Grateful

Pin It I have not forgotten about my promise to myself and my family to blog more and document our memories, my thoughts, my little one's milestones, etc. It's just been a busy month (what month isn't?) and I had a goal of finishing our 2013 Family Scrapbook by February 28th. Our Family Scrapbook is another way I like to preserve our memories for my family, and with such a huge goal and other obligations this month, the blog took a back seat.

So did I reach my goal? Almost....! And, honestly, for the first time in my life, I am happy with almost! I definitely will still finish it within the next week or so, but the single most important thing motherhood has taught me so far is that "it can wait." Laundry and cleaning can wait, blogging can wait, a phone call can wait, Facebook can wait...my scrapbook can wait. My baby will only need me to his momma for so long and I intend to be truly present. I don't want to miss one kiss. one hug. one opportunity to teach. to love. to discipline. to play. to be silly. to dance. to just be with my babe.

I read this post yesterday on Your Best Nest, and it hits so close to home that I could definitely write my own version- but it's already so well written and so spot on I'll just share it with you....Megan (another Megan) writes:

"Ever since we brought our new daughter home, her older brothers have been the first to tell me when she is crying, whimpering, or smelling a little suspicious.  “Somebody needs you,” they say.  I have no idea how this little saying started, but at first it sort of annoyed me.  I could be enjoying a quick shower… “Mommy, somebody needs you.  The baby is crying.”  Or, sitting down for a second, quite aware that the baby was beginning to stir from a nap…. “Mama, somebody needs you!”  Okay!  I get it already!  And not to mention that the newborn’s needs pale in comparison to the needs of 2 little boys.  Somebody always needs a snack, a band-aid, a different sock, ice cubes in their water, a NEW Paw Patrol, a stream of snot wiped, a hug, a story, a kiss.  Some days never seem to end, and the monotony of being “needed” can really take its toll. Then, it all started to hit me, they need ME.  Not anybody else.  Not a single other person in the whole world.  They need their Mommy.
The sooner I can accept that being Mommy means that I never go off the clock, the sooner I can find peace in this crazy stage of life.   That ‘Mommy’ is my duty, privilege and honor. I am ready to be there when somebody needs me, all day and all night.  Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4am feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare.  Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers.  Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in months.  Mommy means I neglect myself and put others before my needs, without a thought.  Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.
I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me.  My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives.  I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away.  No one will need me then.  I may even be a burden.  Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home.  My kisses no longer their cure.  There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled.  I will have read my last bedtime story, 7 times in a row.  I will no longer enforce time outs.  There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill.  I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy, somebody needs you!”
So for now, I find beauty in the peaceful 4am feedings in our cozy little nursery.  We are perched above the naked oak trees in our own lavender nest.  We watch the silent snow fall and a bunny scampering across its perfect white canvas.  It’s just me and my little baby, the neighborhood is dark and still.  We alone are up to watch the pale moon rise and the shadows dance along the nursery wall.  She and I are the only ones to hear the barn owl hooting in the distance.  We snuggle together under a blanket and I rock her back to sleep.  It’s 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it’s okay, she needs me.  Just me.  And maybe, I need her too.  Because she makes me Mommy.  Some day she will sleep through the night.  Some day I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery.  When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world.
Can I enjoy being needed?  Sometimes, sure, but often it is tiring.  Exhausting.  But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment.  It is a duty.  God made me their Mom.  It is a position I yearned for long before I would ever understand it.  Over a 3 day weekend my husband couldn’t believe how many times our boys kept saying, “Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy”!  “Are they always like this?” he asked not able to hide his terror, and sympathy.  “Yep.  All day, everyday.  That’s my job.”  And I have to admit that it is the toughest job I have ever had.  In a previous life I was a restaurant manager for a high volume and very popular chain in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.  A Saturday night at 7:30pm with the expo window overflowing with dishes, a 2 hour wait, and the electricity inexplicably going out has got nothing on a Tuesday, 5:00pm at the Morton house.  And let me tell ya, South Florida diners are some of the toughest to please.  But, they are a cake walk compared to sleep-deprived toddlers with low blood sugar.
Once upon a time, I had time.  For myself.  Now, my toe nails need some love.  My bra fits a little differently.  My curling iron might not even work anymore, I don’t know.  I can’t take a shower without an audience.  I’ve started using eye cream.  I don’t get carded any more.  My proof of motherhood.  Proof that somebody needs me.  That right now, somebody always needs me.  Like last night…
At 3am I hear the little footsteps entering my room.  I lay still, barely breathing.  Maybe he will retreat to his room.  Yeah right.
“Mommy.”
“Mommy.”  A little louder.
“Yes”.  I barely whisper.
He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.
“I love you.”
And just like that, he is gone.  Scampered back to his room.  But, his words still hang in the cool night air.  If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest.  His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world.  I love you.  A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away.  I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.
One day that little boy will be a big man.  There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours.  Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband.  I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby.  It will be but a memory.  These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting.  I have to stop dreaming of “one day” when things will be easier.  Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today.  Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up.  Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck.  Today is perfect.  ”One day” I will get pedicures and showers alone.  ”One day” I will get myself back.  But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go.  Somebody needs me."
Wow!... I know I, for one, couldn't get through that post without crying. I am so blessed to be Sylas's and soon-to-be Baby #2's momma! It is a duty I don't take lightly and the thing about motherhood is that in the midst of the exhausting and the draining, there is joy to be found in the simple fact that I'm here to be exhausted and drained. I get to be the one to raise my kids, I get to be the one to discipline, to praise, to kiss, and to cuddle. I get to be here and that alone is a gift.












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22 January 2014

It's a... (Baby #2 Gender Reveal)

Pin It With Sylas we didn't find out if he was a boy or girl until his birth. It was so amazing and incredible to birth a baby and then still have the excitement of finding out..."Did I just birth a girl or boy?!" However, for various reasons, we decided to find out ahead of time this time around, and.....


Dan and I both want a little girl eventually one day, but I feel like I can not even express how incredibly excited I am to be having another boy!! Best Friends. Partners in Crime. Buddies. Pals...BROTHERS! 

Sylas and Baby Boy, 

Daddy and I hope you boys are all of these things and more! I pray you will develop a special relationship unlike any other- that of brothers and siblings! I pray that you will be each others best friends, that you will always be there for one another, and teach each other everything you know. I pray that you will love one another and form a special bond from day 1 that is unbreakable and stronger than any other friend or playmate you have. 

Baby boy, I know Sylas will be an incredible big brother (you are very lucky!) and with all that his tiny little mind can understand-he is very excited to meet "the bebe." We talk about you all the time, and when we get to hear your heartbeat at our midwife appointments, I tell Sylas that is how you say "Hi" to him. That makes him very happy and feel very special. He climbs up on the bed with me and pulls my shirt up so he can put his hand right on my belly. He is very gentle and purposeful with his movements. He says "hi bebe" and waits for you to respond. It is a very special time for us!

We are all incredibly excited to meet you, baby boy! 

I love you both from the depths of my heart and soul, 
Momma

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